I Ate 3D Printed ‘Gamer’ Vitamins for Three Months, and Lived

There has been a huge influx in “gamer‘ branded products. Everything from chips and drinks, to glasses and “energy powder” are being marketed as “gamer” brand. These items are usually nothing more than the original product, slapped with a “gamer” sticker and a price markup. Cashing in on the constantly rising popularity of video games is nothing new. Frankly, I get a few emails a month offering these sorts of items. Usually, I delete and never think twice about it. That was until I received an email about “High Impact Gamer Nutrients” from Nourished.

Believe it or not, I had actually heard of these 3D-printed vitamin gummies before. Don’t ask me why, but I watch an unhealthy amount of Dragon’s Den UK, and the creator of the brand had been featured on a previous episode, pitching a very similar product. After getting no investment in the Den, it seems she re-branded, and reorganized her business into what I was being offered today: custom-made vitamin gummy “stacks”, using 3D printing technology to supply you with a monthly subscription blend of the precise vitamin supplements you need. The idea seems novel, and with fully compostable packaging for each gummy, the business seemed to want to ensure well being for both humanity, and the planet.

Now, in case you don’t know, the supplement market (at least in the US), is a bit like the wild west, with the FDA not regulating supplements and vitamins in the same way they do medicine. There has been thousands of horror stories about supplements containing harmful levels of toxins, resulting in a laundry list of side effects and harm to customers. While I’m not at all saying that is what you can expect from Nourished, I just want to drive home the fact these things can be sketchy at times.

So after saying “Sure!” to the email asking me to give the gaming-focused vitamin blend a whirl, I was on my way to being in peak gaming health. A few days later three boxes of the vitamins arrived at my door. Well packaged, with thirty pre-packaged gummy stacks in each box, this three month supply would have cost me $50 USD each had I been buying them like a normal customer. Was it worth it? Time will tell.

So off I went, ripping open the first of what would be ninety vitamins, and popping it into my mouth. The flavor was alright at the start, with the texture of a normal gummy candy, albeit it a bit grainy. Then the aftertaste that is common with all vitamins hit. It wasn’t pleasant, but it was tolerable. That said, the risk of me eating these as if they were actual candy wasn’t a concern.

While I dealt with the lingering taste of iron and metal in my throat, I read exactly what was in these little vitamin stacks, something I probably should have done before ingesting. “Vitamin A, Vita-alge D3, Vitamin B12, Resveratrol, Tart Cherry, Ginseng, Maca Powder”. Well, I’ve heard of some of those before, so I guess I’ll be fine! In all seriousness, each of these ingredients offers various benefits, all of which I really can’t be bothered to get into, so I’ll just sum it up with what the product itself says: “Protect eyes from screen time, ‘Gamer’ naturally boosts energy, enhances memory, focus and reaction.” Whether or not these things truly have any measurable affect on such things is up for debate. But I wasn’t here to study vitamins, I was here to be the guinea pig dammit. So onward I went with my three month trial of gamer vitamins.

Fast forward three months later, and I just ate the final gummy stack. So how do I feel? Do I have the eyes of a hawk? The lightning fast reflexes of a viper? And the gaming skills to make all the eGirls swoon? Well, yes! But I always did. As far as the vitamins go, I really feel no different. Really. Not better, not worse, nothing. I would however, feel $150 bucks lighter if I was a regular customer.

Now that’s not to say they aren’t beneficial to some people. Vitamins can very much help people whom have deficiencies in various things. But to market them as “gaming enhancers”? I am not sure about that. I would always consult your doctor when trying to supplement levels in your body. And, as with most of these sorts of things, there isn’t nearly enough of a dose to make any real difference. Vitamins and supplements are a huge gray area in a lot of ways. I’m not an expert, and odds are neither are you. So all I can really say is that if you’re looking to be a better “gamer”, this likely isn’t going to help.

While I am very impressed by the quality of the presentation, I can’t really comment of the quality of the vitamins themselves. Likely no one really can. I thank them for sending me the package, but I can’t with a clear conscious recommend the product. If you wanna be a better gamer, you can heed the following advice: drink lots of water, take breaks, and play in a well lit room.

Justin Ortiz

Introduced to video games when he was only five, after dying somewhere around four thousand times while playing Star Tropics, he never looked back. Some of his favorites range from titles like Shenmue and Metal Gear Solid 3 to Half-Life 2, Manhunt, and the Dark Souls series. Justin has a passion for vinyl records, and loves to collect video game memorabilia. If he had one wish, it would be to travel back to 1984 Miami.

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