It was a rainy day in late July. I pulled my car out of my driveway and did a more than likely illegal u-turn. Pulling up to my small plastic mailbox, I opened the door and found yet another massive black cardboard box shoved inside. After using the jaws of life to remove the package, I opened up this month’s treasure trove of gaming ‘loot’.
The theme this time around is “Stranded‘, which focuses on Tomb Raider, Dead Island, Far Cry Primal, and Assassin’s Creed Black Flag. Apparently ‘stranded’ means: ever being stuck in a place at any point for any amount of time.
First out of the box was a large white beach towel, sporting the logo and name of Banoi and The Royal Palms Resort. Upon closer inspection I noticed the towel was splattered with blood and gory handprints. Of course this is the resort featured in the Dead Island games and is actually a pretty alright piece of memorabilia. There is a Dead Island logo on the top, but it’s not massive and a towel is a fairly practical thing to have. I approve!
Next out of the box was…another, smaller, black box. Featuring the “20 Years of Tomb Raider” logo, I was greeted with a vinyl figure of Ms. Croft herself. Of course, because the world is utterly insane and no one likes anything good anymore, it features the classic gigantic head and disproportionate body. Shame, because the quality of the thing is pretty decent, and I’m a sucker for classic Lara, but because of the look of the figure, I’ll more than likely be giving this to a friend. If you’re into those Funko figures though, this would be right up your alley, although I would suggest keeping it in the box. “To keep the resale value?” you ask. No, because the damned thing refuses to stand up on its own.
As with nearly every box, we are given the standard shirt to wear, and confuse people in public as to just what in the hell the shirt is referencing. This time we are given a black tee featuring art of a mammoth, lion, tiger, and some hairy cave fellow, all done in a sort of splatter of various colours. This basically sums up Far Cry Primal as a whole, so I’d say good representation overall.
The last thing in the box (other than the pin which I refuse to speak about), is an Assassin’s Creed Black Flag pirate flask. Fit for a swashbuckling pirate, or a random millennial sitting in their living room, you’re sure to look rugged sipping Mountain Dew from this finely crafted receptacle. Honestly, it’s okay quality I guess. Not real leather of course, and I’m not sure if this would take more than a few drops before cracking somewhere. But if you’re a huge Black Flag fan, or a raging alcoholic, I suppose you’d enjoy this.
And that’s all folks. Yes, this month seemed a bit light, but I guess those beach towels don’t bloody themselves up. I actually already got tracking info on next month’s box, so check back for that soon. It’s said to feature Deus Ex, BioShock, and Destiny, which are games I’m actually interested in, so colour me excited!