Rumble Roses XX Review
Sex sells, it’s as simple as that. Singers who wear skimpy skirts and actresses who show of their body in skin tight leathers always make more money than those who dress in less skimpy wear. So with that in mind, Konami have taken it upon themselves to create a game which some gamer’s class as being sexy. The game itself borders on CGI porn and Konami have truly hit the parental limit when it comes to animated jugs. The real question is will there be a game behind all this so called CGI loveliness, I mean if like me animated breasts aren’t that appealing to you, you will need another reason to buy this title. We can only hope that these so called wrestlers can actually wrestle.
I’ll first talk about the actual playability of Rumble Roses XX (RRXX). Granted the game is easy to pick up and play, it’s like many wrestling games in that respect where you can quite easily get into the ring and start punching some other girls lights out. Even so the game itself seems oh so slow, its not that its demanding its just that it takes such a long time to pull off moves and pin opponents. What’s even worse is that each character has about as many moves as you have fingers. Older wrestling games on the current/last-gen consoles contained hundreds of moves for each character, from choke slams to piledrivers – it was all there. Sadly all you can really do in RRXX is either slap your opponent or grapple them and do the same moves over and over and over again.
The next huge criticism of the games setup is that the single player mode is absolutely diabolical. Again reverting to older games where if you wanted to play for belts you simply clicked on the huge ‘WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP BELT’ button or something along those lines. The problem with RRXX is that you will find yourself asking your friends or going online for a map to the belt fights. There are three different locations on the multi-map that all do the same damn thing. You’ll also find that the navigation system will hamper your chances of unlocking costumes, characters and achievements.
There is also a photo shoot mode. Not only can you take pictures of these animated girls in skimpy bikinis, but you can then send them off to all your friends (and promptly get “NERDDDDDDD” sent back to you). In the photo shoot mode you can get the girls to strike poses on their own or with other wrestlers. You can even dress your girls up with unlocked costumes. Sadly the photo shoot mode is only there to get the less mature gamers buying the game. Finally there is the custom wrestler mode which will see you create your own wrestler. [No brainer -Ed] You will be able to change things like the size of their breasts (wow, never expected that), body shape and things like colours of eyes, mouth and skin.
Xbox Live can usually save a floundering game. Sadly like everything else in this game Xbox Live is boring, and just a horrible experience. Firstly there is next to no one online prepared to actually have a wrestling match, instead it seems that they are all exchanging photos from the ultimately sad photo mode in the game. What’s more when you do get into a game it’s usually against someone from far away and you can then acquaint yourself with a little place called ’lag city’.
Graphically the game isn’t really that next-gen. Although most of the people buying this game will only be staring at one aspect of the graphics, on the most part the game seems to be nothing more than a high quality Xbox title when it comes to graphics. The girls themselves have lots of curves from top to bottom, but they still seem a tad jaggy even on high-def. The rings, despite being unbearably small, still look OK but again it just looks alot like an Xbox title. Also the menu and interface aren’t very pleasing to the eye with the main site map looking like its been copy and pasted from Gran Turismo. The worst part of the graphics is the fact that Konami have tried to use what seems like a softening filter on every edge in the game and all it ends up doing is making the game look really blurred.
Animation wise the game is pretty good. Again sex appeal comes into it as it seems Konami have spent most of their time making the girls breasts bounce, but everything else from running, to hitting the mat all look flawless. You don’t even get the usual problem with wrestling games where arms and legs merge into one. So on the whole I was impressed with the non-pornlike animation within the game and have to say they did a pretty good job of the simple things like running and jumping.
When it comes to Audio the game yet again hits the hardcore porn barrier. When you hit someone or get hit the girls moan and scream and make it sound like they are enjoying it. Konami have sneaked in the usual Japanese girly giggles into the taunts. The sountrack consists of Japanese hard rock – and if that’s not to your taste then you can, of course, plug your iPod in and listen to your own soundtracks while face plating your opponent. Other aspects like the bell and commentator all sound fine in retrospect, also the sounds of a wrestler hitting the mat sounds as real as it should do.
On the whole the game is one of those that you will either love or hate and it will take you about 0.00028 seconds to figure out which side you’re on. The game tends to look blurred and doesn’t hit the next-gen bar compared to games like PGR3 and Ghost Recon: AW. Even Xbox Live doesn’t save this game from the inevitable bargain bin nor does it come close to justifying its £40 price tag. RRXX is sadly nothing more than softcore porn for those of us who enjoy large bouncing CGI breasts – something that the majority of us gamers aren’t paticularly interested in.
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Originally Written By: Lee Matthews